::this month::

the week that i typed my last monthly update we had a ton going on! we were in the midst of funeral plans and preparing for what jeremy was going to say at said funeral. we thought we were going to have to be out of our current place 3 weeks before our closing date on our new home, causing us to move twice and get storage and stay with friends. then a few days later we were wondering if the whole contract on the house was going to fall through all together causing us to have only one and a half weeks to find a home to rent for the next year and move. let's just say that we had a lot up in the air. i wish that i could say that i handled it all with grace and faith but there were moments when i cried, worried and felt anxious trying to resolve all of the details. then, within 3 days most of the difficult circumstances were resolved and provided for in miraculous ways. i was left looking back wondering why i had wasted time worrying and not trusting god, when i have so many prior memories of him making the impossible possible in my life. fortunately he is better than we know, better than we give him credit for, and he can and will do far beyond all that we could ask or think.

despite all of the ups and downs that have been in the process, we still hope to close on our home in april, and jeremy will be doing some traveling, and then we'll have family in town for a week. it looks to be another full month.

i am so glad to say that i am finally over the first trimester hump and am feeling so much better! i feel like myself again. i have energy, have been getting a lot done, and have been able to really enjoy and be present with the people around me. after months of feeling awful i am so unbelievably grateful to feel good and really live each moment. all of my senses seem more keen and aware and everything around me seems so wonderful, as if i have on rose colored glasses. i have been doing a lot of processing this month... possibly correlated to reading the book make it happen and asking myself all of the questions it entails. i've been looking at how i spend my time and energy, the things i invest myself in, my passions and overall values and evaluating all of these things considering what is and is not working in each of these areas right now. for the most part, i feel like i'm right where i'm supposed to be right now, but there are a few things that i'll be changing over the next month or two, and i'm also planning to start taking active steps towards some of the long term (5-10 year) goals that i have, rather than passively waiting for them to happen in the far off future.

last month jeremy was on 2 podcasts. he's still working on his next full length book, as well as 2 shorter ebooks. he also has a few upcoming projects and groups that he's working on putting together, more details on those to come.

praising:
that despite my fickleness and lack of faith at times that god is faithful, constant, unchanging, and always working all things for my good, even when it doesn't seem that way. i'm grateful for the ways that he miraculously provided us favor and changed circumstances to move forward with our house.

that my god is a living god, who died and rose again, who has defeated death and sin on my behalf so that i can truly live.
 
praying:
for a smooth and speedy process for our home to close

for wisdom and discernment as we continue to process some upcoming changes.

reading:
psalms, john, romans, make it happen, savor, all the light we cannot see
 
thankful for:
to be feeling well physically, emotionally and spiritually.

spring. we have had lots of sunshine. me and the boys have spent lots of time outdoors. it seems that the whole world around me is coming to life just as i'm emerging from a several month slump. i see flowers blooming, butterflies flying, hear birds chirping, and am just so grateful for it all.

our time living by the bayou. seeing as how we will be moving into our home within the next month and leaving our current neighborhood behind, i am so grateful for our time here. we are very excited about our new neighborhood and new home, but there is something so special about the area that we've been in the last 3 and a half years. we have really enjoyed this area, taking almost daily walks along the bayou and to the nearby parks and playgrounds. this is currently my very favorite neighborhood in new orleans, but i'm pretty sure i'll feel that way about our new neighborhood before too long.

cooking:

huevos rancheros, whole wheat pizza with turkey pepperoni and jalapenos, thai chicken pizza, vietnamese noodle bowls, chicken sausage on buns with sauteed onions and peppers, gumbo, caesar salad, grilled cheese and tomato soup, four cheese lasagna with turkey sausage, whole wheat banana bread muffins with chocolate chips, taco soup, tacos with homemade salsa, italian stuffed peppers, chicken pavlava, fried rice, maple balsamic pork tenderloin, chai bars, veggie tray with curry dip, green well salad, lemon bars, coconut lemon chickpeas with sundried tomatoes and spinach, zuppa toscana, spinach and feta pie in puff pastry, baked risotto with peas, white chicken chili, cornbread
 
baby update:
i still haven't been to the doctor yet (i've been working with our insurance to change my plan so that i can go to my doctor whom i love who did not accept my prior plan). i do have an appointment next monday, so we will know more soon. as of right now, we think i'm around 18 weeks pregnant. that said, we've been joking that by the time i finally go to the doctor they will be confirming my pregnancy and telling us the gender all in the same appointment. i've been feeling much better, and more like myself again, although still a little nauseous here and there and still unable to consume caffeine and fried or greasy foods. in addition to the cravings of sushi and pho that i mentioned last month this month i've also been craving lime popsicles, homemade salsa, beef, lebanese grape leaves and orange juice. as of now i've gained a few pounds and think that my belly officially popped this month and has started truly appearing to be in the early stages of pregnancy. we have not discussed, or even thought of names for this baby yet, because it has been a crazy busy few months, but we still have a girls name leftover from eli, so we have one unofficial girl name idea and no boy names. good thing we still have several months to go.
 
doing:
all the usual activities; weekly homeless outreach, monthly book club, monthly community group, radiant monthly ladies gathering, lots of playdates and dinners with friends.

pondering:

proverbs 23:7 for as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

i've been thinking about this verse. that how a man thinks of himself so he will be. so he will act. so will be his fruit.

what are you/ i thinking of ourselves? are we thinking that we aren't good enough, aren't talented enough? are we thinking that we are lesser than others? worthless? insignificant? flawed? broken?

or are we believing the truth? the truth that we are redeemed. whole. holy. loved. accepted. valuable. forgiven. reconciled. clean. without sin or flaw. that we are covered in and defined by the blood of christ. worth his coming to earth. worthy of his sacrifice. that god loved us so much to send us his son. and his holy spirit. that we have been equipped, empowered, sent out. that we have the fullness of god's power dwelling in us.

i want to believe the truth about myself, and so be those things. act those ways. bear that fruit.

may we do that together, friends. may we see ourselves as god sees us and define ourselves by what he says about us. may we live in constant communion with him. basking in his love and rest, manifesting his kingdom on earth. may all of the lies have no foothold or roots in our hearts and minds.