Thursday, September 27, 2012

::this week::

This has been a hard week for me.  I was hurt by some circumstances that have arisen.  I've been attacked with fear and worry about other circumstances.  It has seemed like most of the plans Jeremy and I have made over the last few months are no longer possibilities... plans that we felt were God's will.  It has been hard to see things that we thought were from Him fall through.  I have a lot of questions.  There is a lot that I don't understand.  I'm still processing it all.  I'm taking my thoughts captive and guarding my heart... I don't want to end up bitter... angry... resentful.  I don't want to dishonor anyone.

It's not like me at all, but out of hurt, out of fear of further hurt, I just want to board myself up in my house and never leave or talk to anyone again.  But I know that is not of the Lord, I know he created me for community, and so I refuse to give in and let the enemy win.

I know that He is faithful.  That His grace is sufficient.  And that whether these circumstances are His doing or not, He wants to use them for my good, and for His glory.  So I try to see where He is at work through this.  What I can learn about Him, and how I can grow closer to Him.

When my plans fail, and people hurt me, I cling to the only one who is worth clinging to.  I stand on my Rock.

praying:  for wisdom.  discernment.  healing.

praising:  that God is sovereign.  that He is bigger than my troubles.  that He is faithful, perfect, and unchanging.  that He is present. always.  that His love is higher & deeper & wider than I could ever imagine. 

reading:  1 Samuel, Proverbs, 1 Peter, Dreaming with God, Desperate Women of the Bible

key verses:  James 1:2-4, Matthew 6:25-34, 1 Peter 1:6-7, 1 Peter 3:15-16, Proverbs 19:21

creating:  some activities for some upcoming birthday parties, some Christmas presents

doing:  hosting community group, ladies Bible study, and a few dinners with friends.  enjoying lots of time at playgrounds with the little ones, and lots of quiet time around the house.

cooking:  pizza, sesame honey soy baked tofu, fish tacos with black bean and corn salad, tacos with homemade salsa and guacamole, salad with tangy tomato dressing, broccoli and cheese soup with whole wheat artisan bread, blueberry baked oatmeal

1 comment:

Mary said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this difficult time for you. Thinking of you and praying for you, friend!