Friday, May 15, 2009


this wednesday i was feeling the need to take a break from the usual routine and for jeremy and i to do something random, spontaneous and romantic. while i love routine, i tend to become a doer when i'm in routine mode, rather than taking the time to appreciate what is going on around me and truly interacting with others. after having shared a house with several other people for the past few months i wanted an opportunity for us to enjoy a romantic evening, with deep conversation to reconnect our hearts (meggan and randy if you're reading this i'm sure you're laughing right now at my use of buzz words :) ). right now jeremy and i are spending more time together than we ever have, since we have a one hour commute each way, plus go to the gym together as well, and while we enjoy this time, we can become complacent and take the time for granted and just go about our days and ways without truly taking the time to find out what is going on in each other's hearts, lives and days. when we're disconnected then i find that we're much more prone to being negative, critical, bitter, and selfish with each other. so we try to make efforts to stay on the same page with each other, or get back there quickly if we notice we're not there. all of that said, the only way for us truly to have unity in our marriage is through christ, who unites us, humbles us, and serves as the center of our union... it is only through him that we can find the desire to serve each other and love each other.

so wednesday evening we skipped the gym, walked to a local bar two blocks away from our home and sat outside on a patio surrounded by plants and vines while jeremy drank a beer, i had a glass of wine, and we spent time communicating with each other in a purposeful way. it was wonderful and much needed.

doing something special and out of the ordinary is a great way to fan the romance in a relationship. however, the more i've thought about this subject, and tried to brainstorm ways to add more romance into our marriage the more i've realized that while ooey, gooey romance is fun, there's a different type of romance that goes on in a marriage as well. it may not provoke the same butterflies and emotions that dates, flowers, bubble baths and walks on the beach induce, but it's a more mature, steady kind of romance. my daily life is filled with romance, i just need to choose to see it, acknowledge it, and be thankful for it. every time jeremy and i lock eyes it's romantic, every time we put each other before ourself or serve each other it's romantic, experiencing unconditional love is romantic, taking communion together at church each week is romantic, discussing our passions, interests and future is romantic, praying together is romantic and so on. all this to say i've realized that i don't necessarily need to scurry around all of the time trying to create moments that the movies are filled with, i just need to open my eyes and heart and relish in the romance that's right in front of me right here and now.

what do you do to bring romance into your marriage?



Kim M. said...

It's a treat for us to just get to stay up late and talk. Children take up so much of our time and energy (the little blessings that they are), that we cherish any time we can have good long talks (the 2 a.m. kind).

The Mangerchine's said...

Long talks are the best!!!

Penny Franklin said...

With kids, we have many "in-home" dates. But boy does John do it up right! He decorates the outside table with candles, a movie on the computer and really nice take-out or steaks! I feel like we're in a private outdoor section of a fancy restaurant!

Great word Shannon! Thanks for beautiful words! Very inspiring!

The Mangerchine's said...

Penny, that sounds wonderful!!!

kim.g... said...

finally got to read through the last several posts you wrote.. and I love them.. I love your heart. Inspiring words.. I love the thoughts about recognizing the romance all around!

..the ways foster/experience romance most with my love seems to be through service.. by scratching his back after a long day or making us a meal instead of going out.. or -and- when he intentionally helps prepare the meal, or get ready for guests, or clear the plates from the table so that I don't have to.. not to mention when we walk and talk or drive and talk or intentionally tell each other how much we appreciate one another...

good thoughts, Shannon! (didn't mean to write a book in your comment section! :) your thoughtful questions!