Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Pulling on a Promise
Last week, I was all of the sudden made aware of a great praise/ answer to prayer/ testimony/ act of God's goodness over the last few months. It's funny that it took me over a month to realize it, and that I might have missed/ forgotten the connection altogether had it not been for Jeremy, and some notes in my journal from February. I am so grateful for this chance to remember, praise, share a testimony, encourage, and activate faith in others, and be again reminded at the goodness and faithfulness of my King.
February 22 God had given Jeremy some very specific words about me, and had said that He wanted to give me something, and that I could ask for ANYTHING, and that He would give it to me. What a big promise! I was humbled. I was honored. I was worried. I didn't know what to ask for. I didn't want to be selfish with my request. I wanted to be like Solomon and use my request wisely, as he had asked for wisdom, and use my gift for the good of others. I wondered if I should ask for things to benefit my husband, family, and/ or ministry. I wondered if I should ask for big changes, eternal changes, in our city, country, or the nations. But when it came down to it, the biggest desire of my heart was something that seemed very small, and to only mostly benefit me, and maybe my family. It felt very selfish and nonspiritual of me, but it was what kept consuming my heart and mind. I wanted to have more/ enough provision for our ministry for me to no longer need to watch other people's kids and to fully be able to devote my time and energy to our family, especially with Elisha on the way. So I had asked God for this back at the end of February.
Then, in mid April I was notified by the parents of the child I was currently watching that they were going to be putting their daughter in school as of the beginning of May. At first, maybe for a night, or up to a day, I was concerned about this. I had completely forgotten God's promise, and my even asking, and had jumped into worry mode, knowing that what I made from watching that child each month was almost exactly what our rent payment was each month... wondering just exactly how we were going to replace that income, and within 2 weeks. Fortunately, the Lord never lets me get too far carried away in worry or things that are not of Him, and He filled me with His peace, and reminded me of all of the ways that He has miraculously provided for our family over the years, encouraging me that He could and would do it again. So not knowing what was going to lie ahead, I trusted Him.
Then, within 2 more weeks, we were given donations, by people that we didn't even really know or have relationship with, that covered 4 months of what I earned watching the baby. PRAISE GOD! I'm so glad that I didn't waste more than a day of my time worrying about how we would pay our bills... what a waste that time and energy would have been! It's definitely a new adjustment for us to live on a ministry income, that fluctuates each month, and that can be unpredictable, but we are choosing to believe and trust in the promises God has made us, that He is going to provide for us, and that specifically He is going to meet my request of no longer needing to "work" outside of our home and ministry.
And right now I'm humbled. And in awe. That He is that good. That personal. That caring. That He would do that for me/ us. That He would give me that gift, as selfish as that request may sound. (Although I do think that me getting to focus more on our family/ ministry/ kids does have eternal impact!). And then, that He would make sure that I'm able to go back and be reminded, and see the connection to my request from February being fulfilled.
And He has continued to woo and pursue me over the last few weeks just when I needed it most. When a few weeks ago I shared in my weekly update of feeling down. He chose that time to remind and encourage me with this.
He chose that time to also speak through a friend to give me some specific encouragement and words that I needed to hear. And I am again reminded of just how personal, how good, how faithful, caring, and intimate He is. I'm reminded of how creative He is, and how He can and will speak to me through so many different ways.
So friend, if you've been feeling dry or distant from God, if you have been loosing touch with just how much He loves you and loves to give good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11), please be encouraged, let this testimony remind you of just how wonderful and thoughtful He is!