Lately the Lord has been doing a lot of work in my heart and really revealing to me an area that I am finding significance and security in rather than Him. Through several situations over the past month He has shown me just how much I care what other people think, desire approval from others, and get anxious when others don’t approve of something that I do or say. It all started when a friend approached me and told me that she didn’t agree with the way I was handling something, quickly followed by feelings of apprehension and anxiety. After a week of prayer and sorting the matter out with God I thought that I had achieved peace and had mastered the whole art of finding my security in Christ rather than what others thought of me… man was I fooled. Then a week or two later I received a complaint letter at work about me that literally brought me to tears (several times) and caused me to loose sleep. Again I was so apprehensive that anyone had a less than perfect impression of me. I was dismayed at the thought that I was not pleasing everyone. What is awesome is that the Lord wants to free me from this, that He has continued to bring up circumstances and situations since then to continue to show me how deep a hold this approval thing has on me… from the way I dress, to the cleanliness of my house and so on. He is showing me all of the ways that I am in bondage to approval of others rather than experiencing the freedom of His love, security and perfection. As Paul so boldly, but accurately states in his letter to the Galatians, we are not serving Christ if we are focused on pleasing men. Galatians 1:10 Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. Pleasing people, or the world, is usually directly in opposition to what we are called to do as servants of Christ. Therefore I need to get a lot more comfortable with people, or the world, being displeased with me and rest in the security of Christ. I desire to be Christ’s servant, solely finding my security, identity, and significance in Him. I am still going through the growing pains of soaking all of this in and letting the Lord sort it all out in my heart, but I take rest in Philippians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
So if you don’t like this blog, then I don’t care…I’m Christ’s servant!